This year has been painfully difficult, making everyone eager to see it end. In no time, the calendar page will turn and present us with the gift we’ve been longing for—2021. A blissful new year. Hope and potential reimagined.

As I creep like a child to the edge of 2020 and peer into the unknown, I know there are things I need to leave behind. A scattered mind and fearful heart bullied me all year. They kept me from being my best self.

I fought back the best I could—praying and trying to be positive. Even still, my emotions got the best of me in 2020. Knocked down and beat up, I am ending the year weak.

Every December, I reflect on what has been and what I hope will be in the new year. This contemplation feels especially important this year. Aside from the external chaos, there is internal chaos I want to shed as I step into 2021.

Part of my contemplative process each December includes choosing a word to serve as a touchstone for what I want my year to embody. As scattered and reckless as my mind and heart have been, I knew I must choose my word more carefully than ever. I need something to anchor and ground me.

My 2021 word came to me a couple of weeks ago. It fell on me like a mantle of truth, striking down deep with certainty and purpose.

Centered.

Full disclosure: I assigned lordship over my life more often to fear than to Jesus in 2020. Lord, forgive me. If there is anything I need after this emotionally and spiritually untethered year, it’s to become better centered. Unable to find a foothold to steady myself, I allowed my circumstances to prevail. I gave in when I should have pressed in.

For that reason, I plan to take the rest of December and all of January to recenter. I need to spend more time with Jesus and reorient myself after a topsy-turvy 2020. And as I recenter, I want to become so anchored in the truth of God’s goodness that I become immovable. Rooted in faith. Centered in His will. Sheltered by His love. As in the eye of a hurricane, I will seek quiet, even while storms may rage.

Jesus is the one who modeled the quiet season for us. His ministry depended upon centering Himself in the will of the Father. How much more must a mortal like me follow his example?

It was very early in the morning and still dark. Jesus got up and left the house. He went to a place where he could be alone. There he prayed. (Mark 1:35, NIV)

The Savior of the world stole away to pray and commune so He could be in the center of His father’s will. Thank God for it.

So I too will embrace a season of quiet. No social media. No blog posts. No voracious consumption of the news. Just quiet times with myself, my family, and my Jesus. Praying, walking, writing, dreaming—recharging in the Father’s arms. I hope to emerge centered, focused, and ready to take on 2021. I pray you will be too.

With Love and Gratitude,