My favorite color is purple. For as long as I can remember, I have loved it. And I’m no Purple Snob. I love it dark, light, reddish, bluish, any shade at all. I used to fawn over the selections in the 64 count Crayola box. Gems such as Wisteria, Lavender, Thistle, Violet and Orchid made my heart sing. I’m drawn to purple when shopping, looking at Pinterest, even noticing the flowers and trees in the springtime. In light of my Purple Passion, it seems curious that I would choose yellow as part of the title of my website and blog. Of course, as a spinner of yarns, there’s a story behind the title and the space it references.
My firstborn daughter moved to her own apartment in December, 2015. I love her deeply, but I can’t say I was disappointed that there would be a spare room I could make into a “Mom Cave”. What a prospect! This would be the first time in over 24 years I had a space just for me – a space to pray, dream, write and relax.
Back in 2011, when I had her baby brother (a whole story in itself, as they are 19 years apart in age), she offered to take the smallest bedroom so that her baby brother and middle sister could have larger rooms since she was in college. We shuffled rooms around and she chose a lovely shade of light grey to paint her new, smaller bedroom. When she moved out, I opted to keep the walls as they were. I love color and normally, I would rush to buy a can of some amazingly vibrant color (possibly purple) and slather it on, or accessorize in some vivid hue.
Rather than do the expected, I chose to use what I already had and added what I thought would complement the grey. I chose yellow. Yellow is something new and different for me, just as launching a website is. Nearly everything in the room is a repurposed item I already had, a hand-me-down or a trash-picked item, with the exception of a few pillows, a blanket and a lamp that I purchased. The moniker “Mom Cave” quickly morphed into the “Lair”. I call it my “Prayer Lair”, a sacred space in a busy place.
Earl Grey is my favorite tea, the more Bergamot, the better. For those who aren’t aficionados, the Bergamot Orange is what gives Earl Grey tea its distinctive fresh and citrusy flavor. Since this sacred space is a place to pray, relax and dream, tea drinking seems a sensible activity for the room and with that, Earl Grey and Yellow was born. I wanted to name my blog after the space that would be the haven in which I would create it.
In order to attempt to create boundaries, I put a little black wooden sign that I purchased for $1.29 on the door. I used a silver Sharpie to signal to my family what is going on inside. It says “Welcome to the Lair” on one side and “Prayer Lair” on the other side. I hang it up to let my children know if it is a “Share Lair” or I’m in need of quiet time. Most of the time it works. Now truth be told, as I write this, my son is climbing all over an armchair and my middle daughter is making a poster for the Garden Tour in town, asking me to pull up a picture of a hummingbird on the laptop for her to copy. At times, it is a “Share Lair”, but that’s fine with me.
Even if you don’t have an extra room, creating a sacred space for yourself to dream, pray, plan and relax isn’t selfish. It makes you a better version of yourself to “be quiet in your own head” as my friend Carole says. If you are to be your best for yourself and those around you, you have to refresh and renew yourself. If you’re a busy mom, an empty-nester, a single lady, or anyone on the spectrum of womanhood, you need a place to be with your thoughts and in my case, with God. The space doesn’t have to be a room. It can be a chair on your porch, a corner of your bedroom, a spot by the kitchen window with your coffee, or anyplace else convenient. Each of these three examples used to be a sacred space for me. Use whatever you have. You don’t need a lot of money or fancy decorations. It is less about the location and more about the frame of mind that you are worth investing some quiet time in a certain place. Find your sacred space and enjoy being in it, with yourself, recharging for what lies ahead each day.