I Forgot to Pray During a Lockdown

I am an English teacher at a large suburban high school. Last week, we had a lockdown that lasted about an hour and twenty minutes. There was an allegation that a student had threatened another student with a gun, which was thankfully unfounded in the end.

We practice monthly drills because school shootings appear in the news all too often. When the announcement came to lock down, we weren’t sure if it was a drill at first. I herded 25 students into a corner of the classroom. Thankfully, I was with my co-teacher and a guidance counselor who was there to help students pre-grid their names on the PSAT testing form.

We waited in silence.

After about seven minutes of absolute silence, I whispered encouragement to the students.

“Sometimes they bring the police in to ensure we are doing the drill correctly. It’s probably that.”

It wasn’t.

Before I knew it, a group text with my colleagues had begun, and I was advised to look at a community page on Facebook. Apparently, rumors from children to their parents included the suspicion of a gun in the school, supposedly used to threaten another student.

A student of interest had been removed from one Facebook poster’s daughter’s classroom for questioning.

My students had their phones out also, so no doubt they’d seen and heard similar rumors. Nobody said it aloud.

All that time, I whispered small talk to my students and encouraged them to stay out of the way so that they couldn’t be seen from the door.

I reassured students. I checked my text messages. I scrolled the community Facebook page. I looked out the window.

I did not pray even once during the lockdown. I’d forgotten to.

After the lockdown was deactivated and we were downgraded to a shelter-in-place setting, students returned to their seats and continued gridding for the PSAT with little fanfare. There were a few sighs of relief.

I plopped down at my desk and without thinking, breathed out a quiet prayer.

“Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.”

I’d been busy watching the students and trying to reassure them. Staying alert, checking for updates, and noting my classroom situation had taken precedence. I’m a prayerful woman but no prayers came in the midst of the lockdown.

Thank God that when I am weak, He is strong.

Though I forgot to pray, I know God was at work. What I failed to express to Him, He knew.

My preoccupation with the moment’s needs did not diminish God’s ability.

Upon realizing I’d forgotten to pray, I felt guilty. Of all the things I could have done for my students, surely praying for them and for the situation would have been the most important.

In the midst of the lockdown, I had to pay attention and keep a sense of calm. My heart and mind were distracted and afraid. My God was at work though.

Thank God that when I am weak, He is strong.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

-2 Corinthians 12:9

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Hi! I’m Tracy…Christ-follower, wife, mama, writer, blogger, speaker, teacher, dreamer. I love Earl Grey Tea and quiet mornings. Here at Earl Grey and Yellow, the focus is striving to be faithful and appreciate the small things. So glad you stopped by. Please have a look around and subscribe to our newsletter and social media to stay connected.

2 thoughts on “I Forgot to Pray During a Lockdown

  1. Tracy, thank you for your
    honesty. I am caught usually
    in the midst of family
    arguments forgetting to pray.
    Like you eloquently wrote,
    Holy Spirit intercedes for us
    while Our Sovereign Father
    knows all things before,
    during and after. Have a
    blessed night. And one
    question, are you waiting for
    my guest blogpost about
    depression?

    1. Thanks for reading, Julie. It’s so easy to forget, isn’t it? Thank God that He is merciful and stands in the gap for us. Look for a PM from me soon.

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