Today was a ruthlessly busy day of parenting, consisting of two kids’ birthday parties, a yard sale, and a Cub Scout event. This was ill-positioned at the end of a hectic week at work. I’m finally sitting down to write, to assure you that as positive as I aim to be, I see neither sunshine nor rainbows right now.
The month of May has brought a barrage of parenting and work pressures, church functions, sporting practices/games, Cub/Girl Scout events and birthday parties. There are papers to grade, scary bathrooms to clean, and plenty of places to be. It’s all way more than is possible to keep up with consistently, at least for me. I’m blessed, but weary.
I love my children and love being their mom. I love my students too. Truly, I am grateful for all the good things that we got to be a part of in May. However, I feel like a hapless pinball, being bounced around recklessly inside the machine – always worrying about slipping into the gutter at the bottom.
My margin has been seriously narrowed. This has caused my schedule to go spilling over into life in such a way that my emotions are high and my patience is short. I wrote about margin in the fall, which you can read about HERE, yet somehow I have allowed myself to be swept up (again) in a desperate current of crazy. Miss Margin misses her margin.
I’m longing for jazz and wine and cheese in a season of spazz and whine and sneeze. Temper tantrums, snotty noses, and erroneously pierced, dribbling juice boxes seem to be the bulk of my parenting experience right now.
An increasingly moody, prepubescent 11-year-old girl and an impulsive, dangerously curious 6-year-old boy are trying my patience as I end my 13th year as a high school teacher (seniors no less). Teaching seniors in May is not for the faint of heart. As I write this, my son is complaining that he wants to play with his friends, after a day packed with activities with his friends. Really?
I’m longing for jazz and wine and cheese in a season of spazz and whine and sneeze.
An old neighbor of ours who spent decades as a teacher used to say:
“If it’s (insert name of any month here), can June be far behind?”
I’m lifted by that reminder today, because in the midst of a Lego-strewn floor, a scuzzy shower and heaps of grading left to do, I’m tired.
I’m also lifted by the reminder that my kids are really good kids.
I’m lifted by the reminder that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
I’m lifted by the upcoming excitement of a missions trip this summer, and teaching a summer course about blogging that I created.
I’m lifted by the hope of a new school year, with new students to inspire and challenge.
I’m lifted by being able to write on this blog, being honest about Jesus and myself.
I’m lifted by the fact that I have a loving husband who is a helpful partner to me so I don’t have to do it all alone.
Seasons of life are fleeting and I must sit back and remember how much good there is now and yet to come.
Although I am in the thick of May Malaise, I know that June is coming. And then July, August, September will unfold before me. Seasons of life are fleeting and I must sit back and remember how much good there is now and is yet to come.